Saturday, 23 April 2011

(Social) Homophobia is Okay

*WARNING Be Prepared To Hate on This Blog*
(but please read it the whole way through before calling me a Homophobe etc etc...

Personally I believe that Homophobia is not that much of a bad thing in society, it is a form of bullying and nothing else. And yes of course I know that bullying is wrong and shouldn't happen blah blah blah but it will happen and we are never going to completely stamp it out.

I am gay and I got bullied.

Bullying was a horrible part of my life, but it really taught me a lot. I was bullied for a number of things, but one of them for being gay; before and after I came out. I have faced my fair share of homophobia in my life, but it has only made me stronger.

But how can I stand and say that homophobia is a terrible thing and that nobody should be allowed to be homophobic whenever I am slightly racist sexist and even homophobic myself. Now do not get me wrong I have colored and gay people as friends heck I even have females as friends but I still make the odd 'get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich' joke now and then.

When someone gets beaten up due to a 'homophobic attack' I think it should be treated just as equally as any other form of attack Whether you attack someone because they are gay or because they are black or because they kissed your girlfriend it is all the same. They don't like who you are or what you have done, but either way they have attacked you which is wrong, but no attack (of the same physical injury) should be treated any differently just becase it was a 'homophobic attack'

What I am trying to get across is that there is some people out there who will never like me because I am gay, and will condemn who or what I am. But who am I to stand and tell them that they are wrong? That is their personal opinion and if they choose not to like it that is up to them.

Homophobia and Racism etc only exist and are problems in society because we make them problems. Homophobic bullying is no different from bullying someone because you are ginger and until people realize this it will become less of a problem. I use 'thats so gay' all the time in my day to day language but because I say that doesn't make me homophobic just the same as me calling it a 'Blackboard' does not make me racist even if it is politically correct to call it a 'Chalkboard'

When I say all of this I do not for one second believe it is fair to deny someone a job, or housing or any form of public service because of sexual orientation gender or race. BUT if someone has an opinion then they should be allowed to express it. Am I wrong? If so express your opinion on the matter telling me why people should not be allowed to express theirs.


  1. Love itg nathan I feel exactly the same. Us queers gotta stick together and sing show tunes.

    Love James x

  2. I get that you're being controversial, and fine, support people's rights to free speech, but this is ridiculous. Homophobia and racism are more than just trivial childhood bullying and in saying they're only problems because we make them problems it's almost as if you're supporting racism and homophobia in all forms, no matter how extremist.

  3. I agree with (above) I think this blog is just an excuse to be controversial.

    Surely we are trying to reach a point in society where everyone is equal, where everyone has the right to access all services and get paid the same etc.
    Bullying isn't just some thing which you got when you were younger, would you feel the same way if you were bullied in your working life? Only given £3 an hour just because you were born gay or black/asian/australian/whatever. Given no job at all? Would that be fair? NO. YET IT HAPPENS IN SO MANY COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD. Women having fewer rights than men is just another example; WHY SHOULD THEY HAVE FEWER RIGHTS? What have you done, as a male, that makes you any better? Born with an appendage. Well, that's go get better pay etc.

    I believe discrimination has no place in society, it is a means of social exclusion that is unjustifiable.

    Get out of that bubble and go to a country where you don't have freedom of speech/right to love who you want to..because, surely (according to your blog) this would simply "make you stronger".

    P.S go read up some recent history on gay politics in the USA... teenage suicides... well clearly they weren't strong enough were they?!

    This blog has made me very angry, you have the right to freedom of speech - that's fine - but I think you're taking your freedoms for granted.

  4. If you read the blog carefully I specifically say that in places where as you put it 'you don't have freedom of speech/right to love who you want to' is clearly wrong and should not happen. I do not believe for one second that people should be denied any form of rights because of the way they are, I am talking about Social Homophobia here not Political Homophobia

  5. Surely social homophobia and political both stem from the same prejudiced beliefs in society, so they can't be separated completely as they are both part of the same problem. Example: Gay men are restricted from donating blood because it was a widely held belief that gay men who donated blood would infect the recipients with AIDS. This (social) attitude had lead to a (political) restriction.

  6. That is true that the social attitude lead to political restriction as you said, however there was suffice evidence for this restriction, however wrong it may be, but what I am trying to say is that if people (including gays themselves) stopped separation in society and stopped making these social attitudes so important then they would not reach the political stage. What I am trying to say is that yes they both stem from the same prejudice and yes political homophobia is COMPLETELY wrong and should never happen, but once we realize that a homophobic abuse should be categorized alongside with any other form of abuse and not put on a pedestal then it will hopefully make those political prejudices less likely. But yes I do agree with what you have said I just think that there is a way to stop the political one which is wrong.

  7. "Whether you attack someone because they are gay or because they are black or because they kissed your girlfriend it is all the same."

    While I don't think either are truly justified, I don't think that you can say that they are equal crimes. How is it fair for a person to inflict violence on someone for something they have no control over? There is a difference between choosing to make an action, and being born with certain genes or other factors which are outside one's control. I agree that people and other mammals are naturally judgmental and the rest of your argument is well justified.

  8. So if the KKK kills all black people in a town that’s just a little killing spree and shouldn’t be taken as racism? Just as another murder? this is just messed up and homophobia is a problem the same as racism, in high school people are picked on for everything yes I admit that but when its all around you and people jeer at you from across the street you two men are holding hands or if you get assaulted because of these things its not just crime.. Its hate crime and that is a major problem that needs addressed. And you say people should be allowed to express their opinion but hate speeches leads to anger and ignorance. Equality and liberty are very important but people can’t have to liberty to do whatever they want. They say sticks and stones may break my bones but words and names can’t hurt me? Well that wrong and it can lead people into depression and suicide. I think this whole spiel is just you (the writer) trying to be all macho-gay and that you don’t care about the bullying cause you can take it. But there are others who can’t or will have it worse than you. This is a very ignorant publication. Let’s see if you still think it’s not a big problem when you get vandalism and hate mail and people egging your family because you have a "gay in the family". This whole theory is ridiculous. Stop trying to associate with the haters because you think it’s cool.

  9. seriously your deleting my comment?
    can dish it out but cant take it!... bit lame

  10. ACTUALLY I did't delete your comment it was marked as SPAM - im presuming because it mentioned certain organisations I am not sure - but as you can see the comment is there now but I will first reply to the previous comment.

    I agree with what you say in that 'There is a difference between choosing to make an action....' I agree with this I have said that I didn't personally thought I don't think that reasons behind crimes should make the crime more or less horrible. If someone gets beat up because they are gay and someone else get's beat up because they kissed someone's girlfriend they should BOTH be treated equally under a court of law.

    No that should not be treated as 'another murder' as it was a murder spree. But if a group of people went about killing people of all races, do you think they should be punished any less? Because in my mind both groups would have committed murder and that is wrong and should be punished. Categorising murder into different strands is why people get less harsh sentences than others is a horrible feeling if someone murdered your brother and got 5 years while someone else murdered your friends gay brother and got 10 years. THAT is unfair.

    I agree people should not have liberty to do whatever they want, that would cause mass panic etc etc, all I am saying is that if someone doesn't like me for who I am fair enough and once they start to bully me they should be treated as a bully and once they kill me they should be treated as a murderer, but I do NOT want them to be treated any differently than any other murderer, what they did was murder and it should be punished.

    If I ever get vandalism or hate mail because of my sexuality or my family ever get tormented, that will be a terrible thing, but the persons responsible should not be punished any more than if they did it to my neighbour.

    People seem to think I agree with homophobia, I do not, all I think is that homophobic crimes should be dealt similarly to normal crimes. They should all be punished and they should all be punished severely, BUT they should all be punished equally.

  11. I think Homophobia in some countries is a little more than trivial .... they execute you for being gay! I hope that homophobia continues to be challenged, indeed with more vigour/fervour (you chose lol) than it is now so that we never get to the that sorry state of affairs in this country.

  12. Yes and I agree that in the countries that which this happens is incredibly upsetting and wrong, but I wish people would understand that I know that this is wrong and that the point of this blog is merely that Homophobia, in a social context, is bullying and should be treated as so, while discrimination is something else. Homophobia and discrimination are two different things.

  13. Yes, homophobia isn't an issue in society.
    I'm sure all gay teenagers are just stronger people after committing suicide.