I have been incredibly lucky in that in my life since coming out; I have never experienced any form of personal homophobic abuse. Sure I have had snide comments made, but they have never been direct and they have never been anything too serious other than the traditional 'religious' side of it. That was until today, and what surprised me most was that it came from someone who I thought was a very good friend of mine.
I went out with my sister and our mutual friend, who for the purpose of this blog shall be called Sarah. Now Sarah and I have been good friends for many years, I know and get on with her mother very well, in fact I used to spend time sitting in with her mum when Sarah wasn't there and I know her family well. We went out and had a very enjoyable day. The day was turning out to be a very enjoyable day especially seeing as I was not looking forward to it in the first place, for financial reasons. So before we went to the cinema that night we stopped in McDonalds where the laughs and jokes continued.
My sister has been in a relationship with a guy for a while now and I constantly joke about her getting married and having children and basically planning out her whole life for her. I told her she isn't allowed to have a child until she is married and that I would want our children to be about the same age so they can be good friends as cousins. This is what the conversation went like after:
Sarah: 'You want what?'
Me: 'Our children to be the same age so they can grow up together'
Sarah: 'What do you mean?'
Me: 'Well I want to adopt so Kylie's (my sister) child has to be born after she is married so it gives me enough time to find someone to adopt with.
Sarah: 'Well honestly I would rather have Kylie have a child before marriage than have someone like you adopt'
Me: '..... sorry what?'
Sarah: 'Well I just don't think people like you should be allowed to adopt'
Well I wanted to scream, cry and slap her all at the same time! I just couldn't believe what I had just heard and even though I love to cause a scene I just was not in the mood so I just sat there in silence. I constantly got snide comments from my sister and her about how I was in a 'huff' etc. I still just sat there and shrugged. We where supposed to go to the cinema, but the film was sold out so I just said I wanted to go home. They brought me home and drove away. I didn't want to get my parents involved so I never said anything and just let it all slide. When I went up to my room it took every ounce of strength not to cry.
About 20 minutes later I got a BBM saying 'Why you always go on wee huffs when I'm with yous! You just ruined a good wee day'. Again it took everything I had not to bitch back at her but it wasn't worth it so I just dropped it. Until my sister came home. She stormed into my room claiming I ruined the whole day and I didn't have to go into a mood about everything. That was the final straw. I stood up and started screaming at her telling her how dare she side with her and that I was her own brother. She tried to fight her corner but I just slamed my door and started to cry.
My mother and father came upstairs at this point. Well my parents never really had a good relationship with me since I came out and I didn't know what was to happen next. But my mother sat with me and let me cry. Then she went to my sister and started fighting my corner which made me cry even more, this time with happiness. She said Sarah's name wasn't to be spoken in this house again, my sister was free to be friends with her or whatever but she was no longer welcome in this house and will have nothing more to do with her.
I was so proud of my mother. All I could muster to her was a mouthed 'Thank You' after it all.
The thing was if it had have been anyone else I wouldn't have cared. I also don't care if any of my friends have the same opinions but they have no need to voice them and neither did she. I don't agree with some of my friends life choices but I stick by them and support them because that is what friends do. To me it is simple, if the choice that friend makes does not effect your friendship in anyway then there is no need to voice negative opinion. Sarah could have spent the rest of her life disagreeing with my choice of adoption but as long as she supported me when I needed it I honestly would not have cared.
To me homophobia is not the problem. The problem is when a friend decides that you have become a different person because of your sexuality. It is when they decide in their heads that your personality has changed or your humour or your friendship. That is the problem. I have number of friends who I know are uncomfortable and in some cases have a problem with my sexuality, but they don't voice it to me and tell me I should change or that they disapprove of me and in fact some of them are very close friends to me. Sexuality should not effect friendship, just like the colour of your skin, the colour of your hair, your weight, your looks, your shoe size or even if your disabled. It is the person inside that defines friendship. When it comes to me homophobia only becomes a problem when other people make it into a problem.
Whether you are gay, straight, black, white, disabled, ginger or anything that makes you 'different' I will not judge our friendship on that, I will judge it on who you are inside. Is that not the way it is supposed to be?
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Saturday, 31 December 2011
2012
So 2011 is coming to a close and 2012 is slowly creeping towards us. There are many, many speculations as to what 2012 will bring us, and I am sure many changes will happen whether they be world changes or more likely, personal changes. I do not believe in any form of 'Rapture', and that we shall live life as normal and by 2013 another rapture date will be set for us all to fear about. The only thing I fear is a Dalek breaking free in the salt plains of Utah and planning to kill everything on Earth, for me that is more likely than a religious war between good and evil.
(If you get the reference then I love you)
On Christmas Day I got a 2012 diary from Santa and it made me think, what have I got planned for 2012? What do I hope to achieve by the end of the year? Honestly, I didn't think I could answer either of those. I sat down later that day to fill dates into my diary, which I must say I have a great love of doing, and I wrote very little in it in fact I only wrote three things in it. Looking at what I did write, it makes me think about what I might hope and plan to actually achieve in 2012.
Relationships.
I will admit that I noted down what I hope to be the year anniversary between me and my boyfriend. I have never been in a relationship that has lasted anywhere near a year but this one I hope lasts the year and beyond. I think me writing that there confirms the fact that I believe that it actually might, and I sincerely hope that it does.
I always worry about growing old alone. Not just being single, but being truly alone and having nobody. I have felt it more these past few months than ever before. In regards to my job I get a flat paid for me, so I live rent free. However this flat is where I live. Alone. I have plenty of friends who I go out and socialise with and hang out with, but when I wake up in the morning and when I come home at night I feel more alone than I have ever felt before.
All my life I lived with my family, knowing that throughout the day I would have contact with them. Then when I moved to university I shared a living environment with 18 people, which made it impossible to ever be left alone. But now there is only me. When I am in my flat by myself I feel lost, trapped, alone. I miss that constant physical contact with another human being. I guess what I want and need out of 2012 is to keep the relationships I have, and strengthen and grow the ones that are just beginning.
Stirling.
The second thing I noted in my diary was 'Going back Home'. I noticed after I marked the date that I never wrote 'Stirling' or 'University', I wrote 'Home'. I guess this is true, Stirling is my home now. I spend most of the year in Scotland and will be spending around 9 months of 2012 there, so why shouldn't it be my home now. They always say 'home is where the heart is' and my heart is truly in Stirling. I no longer see Northern Ireland as home any more, this is where I was born, Lisburn is my home town but not my home.
When I come home I want nothing more than to get back to Stirling, I hate being back home, especially under the rule of my mother. When I am in Stirling I am my own man, I am independent but while I am in Northern Ireland I hear the phrase 'while you are under my house you abide by my rules' far too often. I love my family and always will, but once you get a taste of independence and freedom you don't want to be caged up any more.
I have said to my parents that next Christmas I might only come home for Christmas week and be back in Stirling for New Years, who knows if that will happen but it is what I want. 2012 will see me moving further from my family and see the beginning and continuation of my own life, as my own man.
Growing Up.
The third and final thing I wrote in my diary is the one thing that frightens me about 2012 more than any Rapture ever could, my 20th birthday. After February I won't be a teenager any more and that scares the life out of me. I know it really is no difference but it just makes me realise that I am growing up and I am maturing. A friend said to me that since September she has seen me grow up and mature right before her very eyes. I laughed at her when she said it, but it is true and I can see it myself. I suppose that is something to be proud of.
But it makes me wonder, did I make the most of my teenage life? I know I am only turning 20 and have my whole life ahead of me, but do I have the same opportunities I might have missed out on? Have I really lived life to its fullest? Then I think to myself there is nothing stopping me from doing that now, and that no I haven't missed out on anything or wasted my teenage years. I have changed a great deal since I was 13, all for the better and surely that is what is more important. The final date in my diary scares me, but it also reminds me that there is always enough time to live life by the fullest and do what I want to do!
Writing this blog has made me realise that the one second that changes a minute to a new hour. an hour to a new day and a day to new year will not change one thing about me. 1st of January 2012 marks nothing more than a new day, a new calendar on the wall and the beginning of a few weeks of embarrassing yourself while you still write the year as 2011. Sure it may feel like a fresh start to some but to others it will be a fresh start because they are the ones who take every single say as a fresh start to do something good and to better their life. Sure these may be goals I have for 2012 but everyday will be filled with a fresh and ever changing goal as everyday shapes who I am and who I am becoming.
(If you get the reference then I love you)
On Christmas Day I got a 2012 diary from Santa and it made me think, what have I got planned for 2012? What do I hope to achieve by the end of the year? Honestly, I didn't think I could answer either of those. I sat down later that day to fill dates into my diary, which I must say I have a great love of doing, and I wrote very little in it in fact I only wrote three things in it. Looking at what I did write, it makes me think about what I might hope and plan to actually achieve in 2012.
Relationships.
I will admit that I noted down what I hope to be the year anniversary between me and my boyfriend. I have never been in a relationship that has lasted anywhere near a year but this one I hope lasts the year and beyond. I think me writing that there confirms the fact that I believe that it actually might, and I sincerely hope that it does.
I always worry about growing old alone. Not just being single, but being truly alone and having nobody. I have felt it more these past few months than ever before. In regards to my job I get a flat paid for me, so I live rent free. However this flat is where I live. Alone. I have plenty of friends who I go out and socialise with and hang out with, but when I wake up in the morning and when I come home at night I feel more alone than I have ever felt before.
All my life I lived with my family, knowing that throughout the day I would have contact with them. Then when I moved to university I shared a living environment with 18 people, which made it impossible to ever be left alone. But now there is only me. When I am in my flat by myself I feel lost, trapped, alone. I miss that constant physical contact with another human being. I guess what I want and need out of 2012 is to keep the relationships I have, and strengthen and grow the ones that are just beginning.
Stirling.
The second thing I noted in my diary was 'Going back Home'. I noticed after I marked the date that I never wrote 'Stirling' or 'University', I wrote 'Home'. I guess this is true, Stirling is my home now. I spend most of the year in Scotland and will be spending around 9 months of 2012 there, so why shouldn't it be my home now. They always say 'home is where the heart is' and my heart is truly in Stirling. I no longer see Northern Ireland as home any more, this is where I was born, Lisburn is my home town but not my home.
When I come home I want nothing more than to get back to Stirling, I hate being back home, especially under the rule of my mother. When I am in Stirling I am my own man, I am independent but while I am in Northern Ireland I hear the phrase 'while you are under my house you abide by my rules' far too often. I love my family and always will, but once you get a taste of independence and freedom you don't want to be caged up any more.
I have said to my parents that next Christmas I might only come home for Christmas week and be back in Stirling for New Years, who knows if that will happen but it is what I want. 2012 will see me moving further from my family and see the beginning and continuation of my own life, as my own man.
Growing Up.
The third and final thing I wrote in my diary is the one thing that frightens me about 2012 more than any Rapture ever could, my 20th birthday. After February I won't be a teenager any more and that scares the life out of me. I know it really is no difference but it just makes me realise that I am growing up and I am maturing. A friend said to me that since September she has seen me grow up and mature right before her very eyes. I laughed at her when she said it, but it is true and I can see it myself. I suppose that is something to be proud of.
But it makes me wonder, did I make the most of my teenage life? I know I am only turning 20 and have my whole life ahead of me, but do I have the same opportunities I might have missed out on? Have I really lived life to its fullest? Then I think to myself there is nothing stopping me from doing that now, and that no I haven't missed out on anything or wasted my teenage years. I have changed a great deal since I was 13, all for the better and surely that is what is more important. The final date in my diary scares me, but it also reminds me that there is always enough time to live life by the fullest and do what I want to do!
Writing this blog has made me realise that the one second that changes a minute to a new hour. an hour to a new day and a day to new year will not change one thing about me. 1st of January 2012 marks nothing more than a new day, a new calendar on the wall and the beginning of a few weeks of embarrassing yourself while you still write the year as 2011. Sure it may feel like a fresh start to some but to others it will be a fresh start because they are the ones who take every single say as a fresh start to do something good and to better their life. Sure these may be goals I have for 2012 but everyday will be filled with a fresh and ever changing goal as everyday shapes who I am and who I am becoming.
Sunday, 26 June 2011
One Year Anniversary!
Happy One Year Out Of The Closet!
Well we celebrate coming out of a womb (ewww) so I just thought I would celebrate coming out of the closet! It really doesn't feel like it has been a year since the car crash, but then again it seems like over a year ago. The past year has been a complete change in lifestyle for me, not only because I am 'out' and don't have to hide who I am any more, but I moved to Scotland and lived by myself for a year at uni. Living away from home really gave me a chance to learn more about myself and actually be who I am with out having to hide it from my parents. I dunno it was just nice to go on dates and have guys round without making up a million excuses to my family as to where I was going and who I was with. Once I came out I never had the best relationship with my family.
At first I blamed them and said it was all there fault. I blamed them for me having to always lie to them. I blamed them for never telling them. I blamed them for hating them so much. Over the past year I have realised that, no, it wasn't all their fault. I was a horrible son to them. I always started arguments, I never let them into my life and I tried to shift any blame to them. Now I think my mum and I have realised that we have both made mistakes and both where to blame at times. The relationship with my mother is better now and I am so thankful for that.
26th June 2010
I had been going out with my boyfriend for one month. So we decided to go for a drive up the mountains and go for a walk. Of course I had told my mother I was only 5 minutes down the road at my friends house. Well anyway we got the mountain and it was kind of boring so decided we wanted to do something else. Both being as indecisive as the other we decided to play Rock Scissors Paper to see what we would do. After 'A drive to Newcastle' won, my boyfriend said "It was Fate" and away we went.
So anyway off we went on our drive. It was the Lisburn Fun Run so I couldn't go back into the town to go that way so I had to take a different route. I had never drove down that road before so was a bit cautious when I was driving. After all how could I explain a car crash in the middle of nowhere with a boy my mother had never heard about when I supposed to be 5 minutes down the road at a friends? Eventually we got onto the road I originally wanted to be on so I was a wee bit more confident and kept on driving.
We stopped off at a Garage half way there. This is the 'infamous' garage I always made my family stop off at because it made the most amazing ice cream ever. I don't think we got ice cream I can't really remember but we got something to snack on anyway. We stayed in the car for a bit while we ate and then off we went again.
After this stop there are few very large 'S bends' in the road, it was round the last that the crash happened. It is still a bit of a blur to me all I can remember is that I lost control of the car (possibly from hitting a pothole) mounted the curb and slid down the grass.
Great I had crashed my mothers car, for the second time in two weeks, a half an hour drive away from home, when I was supposed to be 5 minutes away, with my boyfriend, when my mother never even knew I was gay. I had NO idea how to get out of this one.
The two left wheels where completely wrecked, they where slashed on impact with the curb, there was no way I was getting that car home. I remember bursting into tears, the only thing I could was phone my mum and tell her everything. So I did. The only thing I remember from that conversation was my mum saying 'you are fucking where?' when I told her where I was and 'you are with fucking who?' when I told her I was with my boyfriend. I cried for a good ten minutes not knowing what was going to happen. The only thing I could think of doing was phoning my assistant head of year and telling her what happened. She calmed me down and made sure that I knew everything was going to be all right. She later told me that she had been drinking that night but was about to phone a taxi to come and get me. I love her so much, she really was the rock that I needed during everything.
So then the family arrived, mum, dad and sister. As soon as my mum saw she began screaming and I began crying. My dad never spoke to me. While my sister just gave me a look that said 'you have really done it this time'. I hated every second of that night it is mostly a blur right now I just remember a lot of screaming and a lot of crying. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that my teacher was on the other end of the phone and that my boyfriend was by my side holding my hand.
He did a lot for me that night without even knowing it. I know it sounds silly but if he wasn't there things would have been so different. I don't mean it wouldn't have happened. I mean if I didn't have his support I don't know what I would have done.
The car journey home was horrible. Half an hour of complete silence. No radio, not nothing. I tried so hard not to cry. I folded my arms so I could grab hold of my boyfriends hand without my mother noticing. Once we got home my sister brought him home and I went to have a conversation with my mum and dad.
I am not sure what angered them more. The fact that I was gay, the fact I was gay but never told them, or the fact that for the past few months I had lied to them every week about where I was going and who I was seeing.
Two days later I had my first Politics A-level. Two days after that I had my last exam. My friend dropped me off home after a McDonalds lunch, I got in got changed went outside into the sun with my laptop and a bottle of WKD to celebrate the end of my High School Life. I signed onto msn and up popped my boyfriend on chat. "I don't think we should go out any more" My heart sank. I literally went from the top of the world to nothing. We argued over msn and then I just burst into tears and rang my friend. She came back and looked after me.
At the time I needed him the most he deserted me, to be honest I don't think I will ever forgive him for that. We still speak, occasionally, but always end up arguing over something and don't speak for a few months. The next few weeks where the worst I had ever experienced. Not only had I lost a boyfriend, but I had lost the trust of my family. This is when the hate began. This is where it all went wrong.
Looking back I could have handled the whole situation better. But I suppose the whole experience has made me grow as a person. In a way I am kind of lucky. I now have a better relationship with my family and have a more mature few point in things.
My coming out story is a little bit different than your usual story. I guess nothing can ever be normal with me...
One thing my boyfriend said was true though... it was fate after all...
Well we celebrate coming out of a womb (ewww) so I just thought I would celebrate coming out of the closet! It really doesn't feel like it has been a year since the car crash, but then again it seems like over a year ago. The past year has been a complete change in lifestyle for me, not only because I am 'out' and don't have to hide who I am any more, but I moved to Scotland and lived by myself for a year at uni. Living away from home really gave me a chance to learn more about myself and actually be who I am with out having to hide it from my parents. I dunno it was just nice to go on dates and have guys round without making up a million excuses to my family as to where I was going and who I was with. Once I came out I never had the best relationship with my family.
At first I blamed them and said it was all there fault. I blamed them for me having to always lie to them. I blamed them for never telling them. I blamed them for hating them so much. Over the past year I have realised that, no, it wasn't all their fault. I was a horrible son to them. I always started arguments, I never let them into my life and I tried to shift any blame to them. Now I think my mum and I have realised that we have both made mistakes and both where to blame at times. The relationship with my mother is better now and I am so thankful for that.
26th June 2010
I had been going out with my boyfriend for one month. So we decided to go for a drive up the mountains and go for a walk. Of course I had told my mother I was only 5 minutes down the road at my friends house. Well anyway we got the mountain and it was kind of boring so decided we wanted to do something else. Both being as indecisive as the other we decided to play Rock Scissors Paper to see what we would do. After 'A drive to Newcastle' won, my boyfriend said "It was Fate" and away we went.
So anyway off we went on our drive. It was the Lisburn Fun Run so I couldn't go back into the town to go that way so I had to take a different route. I had never drove down that road before so was a bit cautious when I was driving. After all how could I explain a car crash in the middle of nowhere with a boy my mother had never heard about when I supposed to be 5 minutes down the road at a friends? Eventually we got onto the road I originally wanted to be on so I was a wee bit more confident and kept on driving.
We stopped off at a Garage half way there. This is the 'infamous' garage I always made my family stop off at because it made the most amazing ice cream ever. I don't think we got ice cream I can't really remember but we got something to snack on anyway. We stayed in the car for a bit while we ate and then off we went again.
After this stop there are few very large 'S bends' in the road, it was round the last that the crash happened. It is still a bit of a blur to me all I can remember is that I lost control of the car (possibly from hitting a pothole) mounted the curb and slid down the grass.
Great I had crashed my mothers car, for the second time in two weeks, a half an hour drive away from home, when I was supposed to be 5 minutes away, with my boyfriend, when my mother never even knew I was gay. I had NO idea how to get out of this one.
The two left wheels where completely wrecked, they where slashed on impact with the curb, there was no way I was getting that car home. I remember bursting into tears, the only thing I could was phone my mum and tell her everything. So I did. The only thing I remember from that conversation was my mum saying 'you are fucking where?' when I told her where I was and 'you are with fucking who?' when I told her I was with my boyfriend. I cried for a good ten minutes not knowing what was going to happen. The only thing I could think of doing was phoning my assistant head of year and telling her what happened. She calmed me down and made sure that I knew everything was going to be all right. She later told me that she had been drinking that night but was about to phone a taxi to come and get me. I love her so much, she really was the rock that I needed during everything.
So then the family arrived, mum, dad and sister. As soon as my mum saw she began screaming and I began crying. My dad never spoke to me. While my sister just gave me a look that said 'you have really done it this time'. I hated every second of that night it is mostly a blur right now I just remember a lot of screaming and a lot of crying. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that my teacher was on the other end of the phone and that my boyfriend was by my side holding my hand.
He did a lot for me that night without even knowing it. I know it sounds silly but if he wasn't there things would have been so different. I don't mean it wouldn't have happened. I mean if I didn't have his support I don't know what I would have done.
The car journey home was horrible. Half an hour of complete silence. No radio, not nothing. I tried so hard not to cry. I folded my arms so I could grab hold of my boyfriends hand without my mother noticing. Once we got home my sister brought him home and I went to have a conversation with my mum and dad.
I am not sure what angered them more. The fact that I was gay, the fact I was gay but never told them, or the fact that for the past few months I had lied to them every week about where I was going and who I was seeing.
Two days later I had my first Politics A-level. Two days after that I had my last exam. My friend dropped me off home after a McDonalds lunch, I got in got changed went outside into the sun with my laptop and a bottle of WKD to celebrate the end of my High School Life. I signed onto msn and up popped my boyfriend on chat. "I don't think we should go out any more" My heart sank. I literally went from the top of the world to nothing. We argued over msn and then I just burst into tears and rang my friend. She came back and looked after me.
At the time I needed him the most he deserted me, to be honest I don't think I will ever forgive him for that. We still speak, occasionally, but always end up arguing over something and don't speak for a few months. The next few weeks where the worst I had ever experienced. Not only had I lost a boyfriend, but I had lost the trust of my family. This is when the hate began. This is where it all went wrong.
Looking back I could have handled the whole situation better. But I suppose the whole experience has made me grow as a person. In a way I am kind of lucky. I now have a better relationship with my family and have a more mature few point in things.
My coming out story is a little bit different than your usual story. I guess nothing can ever be normal with me...
One thing my boyfriend said was true though... it was fate after all...
Monday, 13 June 2011
The Customer is Never Right
I am sorry but customers are idiots, actually the thing I hate most about my job is the customers. I work as a checkout operator in a local Supermarket. I love it. All I do is stand by my till all day scanning items, doing lottery tickets, selling gas and electricity and handing out cigarettes and alcohol to anyone who shows me a valid ID. The people I work with are amazing, we laugh, we gossip and genuinely have a good time. The only thing that makes me dread going to work every day are the customers.
Sure some of them are lovely. I have a nice time chatting to elderly women, hearing about their day, laughing at cute babies and asking their mothers how old they are, chatting to friends and neighbours who come by to buy a litre of milk but the most enjoyable past time in work, checking out all the hot guys who pass through that door. Sadly none of them, gay or otherwise, give me a second look, but still it is nice to look. It is these rare few times that I like customers. But I must stress the word rare.
The customer is always right. Well pardon my French but by hell they are. In my short while working numerous jobs I can tell you 9 times out of 10 the customer is not right but you being the great employee you are have to tell them they are because it is all about customer satisfaction. Maybe if a customer actually read the tag correctly they would see it is marked as '£1 off' and not as they so hoped marked '£9 off'. Or if the customer took the time to read the coupon they would realise that you cannot use it unless you spend over £40 or that the offer doesn't even start until next week. But, because the customer is always right, we have to abide by their demands, for fear of losing customers.
This really annoys me, customers basically rob the shop because owners fear they are going to lose one measly customer who only comes in to buy the Sunday newspaper ever other week but who happened to make up some offer in his head this time. So while this customer gets the item for £1 instead of £1 off, I then get shouted at because the next day my till is £2.45 short. If owners spent more time worrying about giving customers free stuff and less time putting employees on final warnings for the stupidest of stuff they would have a better work environment. Happy workers are the key to a healthy business not rip-off customers.
Yes I may be jealous because my customers get treated better than I do but I am sorry if I wish I had more respect from my boss. The job which I currently have I started in September 2009 and that Christmas decided to go to the work Christmas dinner with my sister as she had worked in the same place for a number of years. However on this particular occasion by boss, who I had worked for four months for, thought I was a waiter and demanded to see my manager because the table next to us was throwing food. How I so wanted to tell him that he was sitting beside my manager but I was far too embarrassed and ashamed that my own boss never knew who I was. But I soon realised I had nothing to be ashamed of, he did, how can a Business Owner claim he runs a successful business when he doesn't even recognise the face of his own staff?
Fair enough the man owns three stores, but that is no excuse. He had obviously seen me in the shop after I had served him and his wife on numerous occasions. One of his assistant managers is my sister so I would be assuming he would know her brother worked for him. He had shook my hand earlier that evening as we waited for the bus to arrive to pick us up. Was he really so blind that he never remembered my face? Does he see every employee as hamsters to his money making machine? I don't know but what I do know is that a company should learn to understand that to stop it from falling apart is to look after its employees a little bit better.
The customer is not always right. The employee is not always right. And the owner definitely isn't always right. Me however? I try to be right all of the time and when I am not I will scream until you admit that I am ^.^
Sure some of them are lovely. I have a nice time chatting to elderly women, hearing about their day, laughing at cute babies and asking their mothers how old they are, chatting to friends and neighbours who come by to buy a litre of milk but the most enjoyable past time in work, checking out all the hot guys who pass through that door. Sadly none of them, gay or otherwise, give me a second look, but still it is nice to look. It is these rare few times that I like customers. But I must stress the word rare.
The customer is always right. Well pardon my French but by hell they are. In my short while working numerous jobs I can tell you 9 times out of 10 the customer is not right but you being the great employee you are have to tell them they are because it is all about customer satisfaction. Maybe if a customer actually read the tag correctly they would see it is marked as '£1 off' and not as they so hoped marked '£9 off'. Or if the customer took the time to read the coupon they would realise that you cannot use it unless you spend over £40 or that the offer doesn't even start until next week. But, because the customer is always right, we have to abide by their demands, for fear of losing customers.
This really annoys me, customers basically rob the shop because owners fear they are going to lose one measly customer who only comes in to buy the Sunday newspaper ever other week but who happened to make up some offer in his head this time. So while this customer gets the item for £1 instead of £1 off, I then get shouted at because the next day my till is £2.45 short. If owners spent more time worrying about giving customers free stuff and less time putting employees on final warnings for the stupidest of stuff they would have a better work environment. Happy workers are the key to a healthy business not rip-off customers.
Yes I may be jealous because my customers get treated better than I do but I am sorry if I wish I had more respect from my boss. The job which I currently have I started in September 2009 and that Christmas decided to go to the work Christmas dinner with my sister as she had worked in the same place for a number of years. However on this particular occasion by boss, who I had worked for four months for, thought I was a waiter and demanded to see my manager because the table next to us was throwing food. How I so wanted to tell him that he was sitting beside my manager but I was far too embarrassed and ashamed that my own boss never knew who I was. But I soon realised I had nothing to be ashamed of, he did, how can a Business Owner claim he runs a successful business when he doesn't even recognise the face of his own staff?
Fair enough the man owns three stores, but that is no excuse. He had obviously seen me in the shop after I had served him and his wife on numerous occasions. One of his assistant managers is my sister so I would be assuming he would know her brother worked for him. He had shook my hand earlier that evening as we waited for the bus to arrive to pick us up. Was he really so blind that he never remembered my face? Does he see every employee as hamsters to his money making machine? I don't know but what I do know is that a company should learn to understand that to stop it from falling apart is to look after its employees a little bit better.
The customer is not always right. The employee is not always right. And the owner definitely isn't always right. Me however? I try to be right all of the time and when I am not I will scream until you admit that I am ^.^
Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Geddes Court - The Ghetto
Well that is it, my last exam of the academic year is finally over. This is where Summer 2011 begins for me and where First Year of University ends. It has been a long, tiring, enjoyable, amazing, best and worst year of my life. This is a journey most of us have already taken or are soon to take, there are a lot of things I would change if I could go back, but if I did, would I have learnt everything I now know? Would I be the person I am today? Would I be any happier?
September 11th. This day will forever stick in my head, not the day in 2001 but the day in 2010. This was the day I became independent. This was the day I finally moved out of my parents house and moved into First Year Halls. I still remember the first time I walked into Geddes Court, the first time I saw my future best friend, the first thing Rachel Moss, my future 'Fag Hag', ever said to me, the first time I thought 'Wow this carpet is horrendous' but most importantly I remember the first time I ever saw my father cry.
Not only was this one of the most amazing days in my life it was also going to be very challenging day. I had to leave the house that I had grew up in for 18 years, the family that became friends, the street that became a neighbourhood, the High School that became a family, the work that became a social life, the friends that became my life, the town that became a city, I had to leave home. I remember the week before I left, it was filled with tears and sorrow but also of hope for the future and the many times I said 'Don't worry I will see you at Christmas'. Leaving home was the hardest thing I have ever done.
How could a building that was built on designs of a Swedish Prison become my new home? How could this city ever compare to the one I grew up in? How was I going to live in such a tiny room? How was I going to share a bathroom, a kitchen and a shower with 17 other people? I never knew how I ever coped with any of this but I did and I loved it.
I have lost count of the times I have sat and cried in my room and wanted nothing more than to go home and to sleep in my own bed and hug my mother. Since coming here in September I have been home twice and at times I wished it was more. But at the same time I wish it was less, at Christmas I made my mum bring me back early because I missed the place so much.
I will admit some of the people in this building drive me to insanity and I would happily never speak to some of them ever again. Others I hope to never lose touch with and I hope they will be a huge part of my life for years to come. And the rest? Sadly I never got the pleasure to meet them, but there is still three years left to meet them. Eventually Geddes didn't just become 'that building where I live' it soon became 'home' and so did everyone in it, even the ones I did hate. Yes I never got off to the best of starts with people and there are still a few I will never get on well with but that is all part of the 'Ghetto Life'. Living here has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life but like that first day it was one of the most challenging experiences I have had to deal with.
Leaving Geddes is a very Bitter/Sweet moment for me; I cannot wait for the life of me to get home have a nice hot bath, annoy my mother as to what she is making for dinner and just get away from every single one of them for three months, I will miss every single one of them, my best friends, the people I hate and even those I never got to love or hate, I will truly miss them all.
Now before I start to cry any more as I write this I will leave the people of Geddes (and anyone else reading) with two things. First of all the best of luck to everyone in their exams and I hope you all have an amazing summer and I am sure I will see you all walking about uni next year looking just as lost and confused as we did this year, and finally these lyrics which just seem to capture that bitter/sweet feeling, but also, with a sense of hope for the future added in.
This not the end, it is only the beginning of a whole new life.
September 11th. This day will forever stick in my head, not the day in 2001 but the day in 2010. This was the day I became independent. This was the day I finally moved out of my parents house and moved into First Year Halls. I still remember the first time I walked into Geddes Court, the first time I saw my future best friend, the first thing Rachel Moss, my future 'Fag Hag', ever said to me, the first time I thought 'Wow this carpet is horrendous' but most importantly I remember the first time I ever saw my father cry.
Not only was this one of the most amazing days in my life it was also going to be very challenging day. I had to leave the house that I had grew up in for 18 years, the family that became friends, the street that became a neighbourhood, the High School that became a family, the work that became a social life, the friends that became my life, the town that became a city, I had to leave home. I remember the week before I left, it was filled with tears and sorrow but also of hope for the future and the many times I said 'Don't worry I will see you at Christmas'. Leaving home was the hardest thing I have ever done.
How could a building that was built on designs of a Swedish Prison become my new home? How could this city ever compare to the one I grew up in? How was I going to live in such a tiny room? How was I going to share a bathroom, a kitchen and a shower with 17 other people? I never knew how I ever coped with any of this but I did and I loved it.
I have lost count of the times I have sat and cried in my room and wanted nothing more than to go home and to sleep in my own bed and hug my mother. Since coming here in September I have been home twice and at times I wished it was more. But at the same time I wish it was less, at Christmas I made my mum bring me back early because I missed the place so much.
I will admit some of the people in this building drive me to insanity and I would happily never speak to some of them ever again. Others I hope to never lose touch with and I hope they will be a huge part of my life for years to come. And the rest? Sadly I never got the pleasure to meet them, but there is still three years left to meet them. Eventually Geddes didn't just become 'that building where I live' it soon became 'home' and so did everyone in it, even the ones I did hate. Yes I never got off to the best of starts with people and there are still a few I will never get on well with but that is all part of the 'Ghetto Life'. Living here has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life but like that first day it was one of the most challenging experiences I have had to deal with.
Leaving Geddes is a very Bitter/Sweet moment for me; I cannot wait for the life of me to get home have a nice hot bath, annoy my mother as to what she is making for dinner and just get away from every single one of them for three months, I will miss every single one of them, my best friends, the people I hate and even those I never got to love or hate, I will truly miss them all.
Now before I start to cry any more as I write this I will leave the people of Geddes (and anyone else reading) with two things. First of all the best of luck to everyone in their exams and I hope you all have an amazing summer and I am sure I will see you all walking about uni next year looking just as lost and confused as we did this year, and finally these lyrics which just seem to capture that bitter/sweet feeling, but also, with a sense of hope for the future added in.
Been a long day, on my way
To my holy place to pray
Give thanks for every blessing given to me
I know there's more to see, more to me
No more living in misery
'Cause this is how I visioned life to be
Searched high and low, so close yet so far to go
I just know there's a sunny day
Who'd ever thought that I would see this day
Where I would see my ghetto life fade away
'Cause I was lost and couldn't find a way
And now I look forward to every day
Welcome to my sunny day!
This not the end, it is only the beginning of a whole new life.
Saturday, 23 April 2011
(Social) Homophobia is Okay
*WARNING Be Prepared To Hate on This Blog*
(but please read it the whole way through before calling me a Homophobe etc etc...
Personally I believe that Homophobia is not that much of a bad thing in society, it is a form of bullying and nothing else. And yes of course I know that bullying is wrong and shouldn't happen blah blah blah but it will happen and we are never going to completely stamp it out.
I am gay and I got bullied.
Bullying was a horrible part of my life, but it really taught me a lot. I was bullied for a number of things, but one of them for being gay; before and after I came out. I have faced my fair share of homophobia in my life, but it has only made me stronger.
But how can I stand and say that homophobia is a terrible thing and that nobody should be allowed to be homophobic whenever I am slightly racist sexist and even homophobic myself. Now do not get me wrong I have colored and gay people as friends heck I even have females as friends but I still make the odd 'get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich' joke now and then.
When someone gets beaten up due to a 'homophobic attack' I think it should be treated just as equally as any other form of attack Whether you attack someone because they are gay or because they are black or because they kissed your girlfriend it is all the same. They don't like who you are or what you have done, but either way they have attacked you which is wrong, but no attack (of the same physical injury) should be treated any differently just becase it was a 'homophobic attack'
What I am trying to get across is that there is some people out there who will never like me because I am gay, and will condemn who or what I am. But who am I to stand and tell them that they are wrong? That is their personal opinion and if they choose not to like it that is up to them.
Homophobia and Racism etc only exist and are problems in society because we make them problems. Homophobic bullying is no different from bullying someone because you are ginger and until people realize this it will become less of a problem. I use 'thats so gay' all the time in my day to day language but because I say that doesn't make me homophobic just the same as me calling it a 'Blackboard' does not make me racist even if it is politically correct to call it a 'Chalkboard'
When I say all of this I do not for one second believe it is fair to deny someone a job, or housing or any form of public service because of sexual orientation gender or race. BUT if someone has an opinion then they should be allowed to express it. Am I wrong? If so express your opinion on the matter telling me why people should not be allowed to express theirs.
(but please read it the whole way through before calling me a Homophobe etc etc...
Personally I believe that Homophobia is not that much of a bad thing in society, it is a form of bullying and nothing else. And yes of course I know that bullying is wrong and shouldn't happen blah blah blah but it will happen and we are never going to completely stamp it out.
I am gay and I got bullied.
Bullying was a horrible part of my life, but it really taught me a lot. I was bullied for a number of things, but one of them for being gay; before and after I came out. I have faced my fair share of homophobia in my life, but it has only made me stronger.
But how can I stand and say that homophobia is a terrible thing and that nobody should be allowed to be homophobic whenever I am slightly racist sexist and even homophobic myself. Now do not get me wrong I have colored and gay people as friends heck I even have females as friends but I still make the odd 'get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich' joke now and then.
When someone gets beaten up due to a 'homophobic attack' I think it should be treated just as equally as any other form of attack Whether you attack someone because they are gay or because they are black or because they kissed your girlfriend it is all the same. They don't like who you are or what you have done, but either way they have attacked you which is wrong, but no attack (of the same physical injury) should be treated any differently just becase it was a 'homophobic attack'
What I am trying to get across is that there is some people out there who will never like me because I am gay, and will condemn who or what I am. But who am I to stand and tell them that they are wrong? That is their personal opinion and if they choose not to like it that is up to them.
Homophobia and Racism etc only exist and are problems in society because we make them problems. Homophobic bullying is no different from bullying someone because you are ginger and until people realize this it will become less of a problem. I use 'thats so gay' all the time in my day to day language but because I say that doesn't make me homophobic just the same as me calling it a 'Blackboard' does not make me racist even if it is politically correct to call it a 'Chalkboard'
When I say all of this I do not for one second believe it is fair to deny someone a job, or housing or any form of public service because of sexual orientation gender or race. BUT if someone has an opinion then they should be allowed to express it. Am I wrong? If so express your opinion on the matter telling me why people should not be allowed to express theirs.
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