Saturday, 17 September 2011

A Hypnotist, A Blue Movie and A Strip Show!

So this is going to be more of a personal blog, I hope to do a few more of these and link them to my YouTube videos and have the two inter-related. It might not stay like this, but we shall see how it goes.

So last night (Friday 16th September) I had just planned to have a quiet night in and basically do nothing, but my friend asked me to go down to the Union and have a little drink with her. Never saying no to a free a drink I went ahead. Turns out the Stirling Uni Rag Pub Quiz was on, with only the two of us we thought we might as well give it a go and have a laugh in the process. 'We can't afford a team name' was born and the quiz set off.

We didn't start off too well, but eventually we pulled our way up and came out on 4th place out of about 8 teams. The team that did win had 12 people in it, breaking the '6 per team' rule but, what ever I am not bitter, we had a laugh and enjoyed ourself. One of the winners won tickets to see the Hypnotist, who was there as part of our Freshers week, they had two spare tickets so kindly donated them to my friend and I, we happily accepted and headed down for further free fun.

I had never been to a hypnotist before and really wanted to give it a go. We got there about 5 minutes before the show started and we had no where to sit, being slightly tipsy and realising if I volunteered I would be given a seat I decided to 'fuck it' and go up on stage. After a few exercises to see how easy it was for the hypnotist to put us under he choose his victims and put us to sleep.

Can I just point out that every time he put me to sleep I woke up and there was drool everywhere, it was NOT a pretty sight I must say!
The hypnotist then went on to have a little bit of fun with us, first off he had us pretending we where the best pianists of all time, now the whole thing is kind of like a dream to me but, I kind of remember kicking my legs and waving about during this. I have a funny feeling I thought I was Jean Martyn off this years Britain's Got Talent! If you don't know who that us click here and that will give you an idea of how I was getting on.

About to rock the house with our Pianos
 He then went on to convince us that we where on a plan to Caribbean and where enjoying our in flight film. Which started off as a comedy making us laugh hysterically, anyone who knows me will know my laugh is HIGHLY embarrassing to begin with anyway, a horror film which made us scream, but the worst was to come. The in flight film suddenly turned in a 'Blue Movie' which was okay, until he told us someone we knew was in it, and then that we where in it as well. I will not inform you who was in my film, although ask any of the 100+ audience members and they will surely tell you!
On to the half time show!
At half time I thought to myself great the horror is over, sadly not, we where brought backstage and told to dress up. Turns out the guys who volunteered where going to BE the half time show. This is where night gets that little bit more interesting for the audience and a little bit more embarrassing for the rest of us! The half time show was opened by Diana Ross, and then along came Abba.

Yes that is me in a ginger wig thinking I was Abba, all singing all dancing.
So after Abba, Dolly Parton made an appearance, as did Cheryl Cole, Lady Gaga also turned up, not to mention Kylie Minogue  but then along game Jedward....

Surprisingly I actually liked my hair like that, wasn't 100% sure about the Silver Jumpsuit though

After a performance by Freddie Mercury and  Michael Jackson half time was over and if I thought I would get off lightly boy was I wrong.

The boys where then given these magical glasses which allowed us to see all of the girls in the room naked, upon realising this wasn't really my thing I got a new pair which allowed me to see the guys naked, I have to say it was a lovely sight, but honestly, I don't need no glasses to see the guys I want naked.

My glasses where picked just for me, green, how original giving the 'Irish Guy' the green glasses!

So after having a little but more fun with us, making us believe we where the ones actually naked, then making us believe we had lost our penis' and then finally returning them to us, but to my joy it had grew significantly larger (not that it was needed mind you). After making us believe we where part of the Russian Ballet dancing to Swan Lake the audience decided I was the best dancer (thanks audience) so I was so very kindly hypnotised into believing that I was the one and only Michael Flatley. Now on a normal day I like to Irish Dance around my room when B*Witched comes on my Ipod, but this was just horrible!

Showing off my true Irish Heritage!

Coming to the end of the show now and the Hypnotist thought he was being a bit harsh on us so he thought he would give us a parting gift. The best orgasm we had ever experienced. Whenever he shook our hand we would receive said gift, apart from me. Turns out I was made to chase him about and force him to shake my hand. Which was embarrassing enough, until everyone got to witness me believing I was having an orgasm.

Best Orgasm Face EVER!
 Was so good I literally fell straight to the floor.

Was this the end of the night? No? How should any good show end? That's right! With the Full Monty!

Why I had a chair I will never know....

 Waking up and thinking wondering why I was basically naked in front of 100 people!

So yeh, this was my Hypnosis experience. The whole thing was a bit of a blur. I can kind of remember everything happening, although it feels like a dream. It is hard to explain little bits keep coming back to me. I knew what I was doing the whole time, I think, but I just couldn't stop myself.

None the less, I had an AMAZING night, I enjoyed myself, got a few cheers at the end and a few handshakes, and now it would seem I have no shame whatsoever within Stirling University!